Brian Clough will today be named the new England manager replacing Steve Mclaren in the post. Clough, long regarded as the greatest English manager not to lead his country will finally realise his lifelong ambition despite being dead for 3 years.

FA chief Brian Barwick explained “This is a momentous day for English football. Finally we have the right man for the job. We feel that Cloughie will take the fine work Steve has done on to the next level.”

Clough becomes the world’s first dead international manager (Cesar Luis Menotti Argentina’s world cup winning coach was occasionally known to blink) . He is also the first inert England boss since Ron Greenwood in the 80s.

It is clear that Clough wins in terms of personality over McLaren and continues to command more respect in the game despite having been a havering old drunk towards the end of his life.

The FA are now putting together a backroom team to support Clough in those areas felt more problematic for the dead such as the training pitch. An FA spokesman will be handling media relations and post match interviews leading to suggestions in some quarters of the press that “old big ‘ead’s “ legendary wit may have been dulled somewhat by his passing.

Barwick laughed off suggestions that Clough’s appointment was a panic measure because the post was not attracting the top names. The FA point out that only one candidate actually turned down the post. Philipe Scolari in haltering English explained his stance yesterday. “I ‘ave asked Meester Batwick to...how you say f**k off”. Mr Barwick had felt that Scolari’s poor command of English makes this message ambiguous and he may have been persuaded given more time.

The FA are keen to put behind them the procession of ill luck that has dogged the search for an England manager. “I am delighted with this outcome after a regrettable start to the selection process. Due to some unfortunate and unforeseen circumstances” said Mr Barwick. “Most of the original list were ruled out for completely legitimate reasons including Ferguson (washing hair), Wenger (nasty cough) Hughes (dog ate tracksuit) and Capello” (hamster died).

It is felt that the Clough decision was finally confirmed yesterday when the FA received a note from Marcello Lippi’s mother asking if he could be excused due to a flare up of his skin complaint.