A top Hollywood producer has revealed plans to make a movie version of Bill Gates epic "Windows XP ." "It's a story that contains everything dispair , pain , hopelessness and loss of data ."

Director Peter Potter ("Teenage bloodsucker" , "Violent police motherfucker" , "Sense and sensibility" ) has been chosen to steer the story ."I see it as a love story with ramifications for all our future , with views on religion and views on philosophy in the modern age ,"said Potter as he was sacked from the project .

The story concerns a computer programmer Clarke (as a boy Zac Efron , as an adult Ray Winstone ) who fall for an icon on his computer Daisy(Reece Witherspoon), but discovers that the icon may have to be deleted to make way for the needs of a new database (Nicholas Cage .) Can he save his love or will he lose her to a card game programme (Bruce willis , Demi Moore and Ricky Gervais .)To make matters worse Daisy is being seduced by a radical virus (Jim Carrey with the voice of James Earl Jones ) to attack xp through a empty , stupid flaw in the programming (Jade Goodey.)

This is the first english language version of windows xp , and has worried programmers about the portrial of the database .Andrew Drey("Clunk:you're dead" ,"Zombie bathroom attendants")the director who replaced Tom Lunk who was hired and fired while i typed that last paragraph puts their minds at rest ."With this project we are walking a tightrope , we are honest to the original source but not isolating the usual cinema goer . So we will show women running slowly so their breasts bounce, once the geeks see that they won't give a toss about the adaption."

The movie will be in cinemas Jan 2010 ,updates will avaliable feb 2010 .