Confusion reigned in the Isle of Wight last night, following news that as councils all over the UK ration their use of grit, a design flaw has been discovered in Ryde, relating to the vehicles that distribute the semi-precious stones. Grit values have risen exponentially on commodity markets, peaking yesterday at GBP300 an ounce, with many risk-averse speculators now preferring it to gold.

"It appears that a high proportion of each load has been leaking out, through small holes located at the rear of the vehicle", explained Martin Craven, who is Head of Little Stones at Cowes Town Council. "This has had hugely negative effects on our stocks, with gravel being irresponsibly scattered with gay abandon onto our roads".

The council were quick to act when they heard reports of a black market for grit and it transpired that fraudulent activity was going on, with gangs in Ryde trying to sneak in diamonds, diluting the quality. Furthermore, police in Sandown were keen to charge the council's drivers with theft after a helpful local woman rang from a phone box to report sightings of the mix falling off the back of a lorry.

However, the council have also come under criticism for the timing of their transportation in Cowes. Rather than move the shingle around on balmy summer evenings, they are waiting until driving conditions are freezing and hazardous before proceeding, giving rise to accusations of public sector mismanagement.

"This is ridiculous" offered Mark Williams, who heads up Health and Safety at Cowes. "The gravel is used to stop the roads freezing over and making driving treacherous. I am trying to send the wagons out now, as there is a cold front coming in. But the drivers are refusing to go out in the trucks, saying it won't be safe until the roads are gritted".