More than two months after leaving the White House, former US President George W Bush is still having trouble putting together a credible cover-story for prospective employers explaining how he has spent the last eight years. Bush had anticipated no shortage of offers from multinationals after he left office in January, but aides were quick to advise him that for reasons no one fully understands, the downturn in the global economy appears to have coincided with a drop in demand for the kind of leadership that put him on the political map. ‘I just don’t understand it,’ he said today. ‘I thought we loved winners in this country.’

Adult movie star Lustie Blowes is facing questions over her future as the industry’s leading hardcore actress after ‘mistakenly’ claiming the cost of her husbands Sky TV subscription to the BBC Parliament channel on her pornography expenses.

The embarrassing mistake came to light after her husband, Nigel Blowes, admitted to watching three hours of political material, including Prime Minister’s Question Time, Andrew Neil’s Straight Talk and a special report on the Parliamentary Standards Commission. Porn producers say the matter has undermined the credibility of Mrs Blowes, who is said to be ‘mortified’ by the error.