FIA, the governing body of Formula 1 motorsport, today announced that starting with tomorrow’s Melbourne Grand Prix there would be new rules to make the races resemble the experience shared by the average motorist. The cars, which cost millions of pounds to develop, and can accelerate to 100mph in less than two seconds will now be forced to negotiate a route which involves speed bumps and contra-flows. Other obstacles on the course will involve lorries pulling out without warning and family saloons towing a four berth caravan.

British hopeful Paul Hobbs is being tipped to win the gold medal in the highly competitive Dishwasher Stacking event at the 2012 Middle Class Games. Hobbs has spent years perfecting his technique, and is confident he can beat all comers when the Middle Class Games come to Surrey in three years time.

Britain’s dishwasher stacking champion goes about his preparation with a fanaticism rarely seen in men in this class. ‘I don’t see stacking the dishwasher as a chore, it’s a logistical challenge,’ he says, ‘I spend hours thinking how to find a home for an awkward egg cup.’